An explanation...

It started off with a discovery...

Hanging out of an upside down desk stacked three high in a closet in an undisclosed building here on campus...

First: Mario's eye...staring so intensely through the dust caked cover that we are not ashamed it scared the you know whats out of us.*

And then eventually we composed ourselves, got the book down using our characteristic ingenuity (and a lil' derring-do) brought it out to the light, cleaned 'er up a bit and read it cover to cover. (It's 32 pages, with many full color illustrations.)

We asked around the neighborhood and within weeks found a fully functioning Donkey Kong video game machine at a liquor store on 23rd street.

A call for quarters had all us dispersed through out the dorm common rooms, washaterias, fraterity rec [or "wreck" JK! :)] rooms, even the 901 Club (that squirrel lost a draw of straws- if you're wondering it's still a little cleanliness-challenged).

Then, referring to text, we learned how to master this video game "Donkey Kong," getting high scores all the time and writing hilarious jokes for our initials on the high score list. We DID NOT however, we repeat DID NOT use dirty things like A -- or D--.

Our hearts went out to all the good people out there that were spending their hard earned Yankee quarters always to fail at getting a high score, and always at the mercy of that lovable but always frustrating DK- Donkey Kong.






*On reflection, maybe this news isn't worthy of report- we are skiddish by nature.